Saturday, April 2, 2011

A Project in the works!

I've been thinking, Diary, about what I can do after my stint as America's First Lady, or, you know, maybe sooner, if need be.  The perfect thing would be for me to go one better than both that Sarah Palin AAAAND Michelle Obama in one grand show!

So I'm thinking my own TLC cooking show: creating sweet calorie-rich foods...wait for it... in the homes of big Republican donors!


A Reagan Cake for Rupert Murdoch.

Bar-B-Que Meatballs for Richard Mellon Scaife (if anyone has his cellphone number please please please text me!)

Bread Pudding a' la Newt for the Kochs.

Betcha I can get way better ratings on TLC than Miz Holly Moose Hunter.   And I'll also show Mrs. 'Let's Get Moving' (I mean, she needs to 'move' her behind to some Brazilian Butt Lift surgery stat) that real First Ladies don't eat 'healthy', because DUH they don't eat.   And hello prime time, I'm two years younger than both of them, with no embarrassing stretch marks to cover, so I can do a nice two-piece for the Donor Bundling Luau Season Finale!!!

Callista's Kitchen Rule Number One:  Cook to impress people who can write you checks, but never put anything in your mouth that makes you fat.

Friday, April 1, 2011

Just like old times!

Okay okay I DID get under the desk when Newtie and I were alone in the Speaker's chamber, just for a minute for old times' sake AS A JOKE!!!  We hardly had time for him to give into my core principles before he had to give his speech to the Freshman Class of 2010.  (Yes, that's a POLITICO link they've been sooo nice lately I want them to have ALL the props.)

But enough about that -- it was like old times but then again it was kind of NOT.  And Newtie didn't want to think about the parts after like the resignation and the fines and how Tom Delay went on Dancing with the Stars and is now out on probation.  A while ago I told Newtie I don't even remember what Tom did wrong and Newtie said "well Tom is a sumbitch but he's one of us, ha ha" and then he wanted to play Drill Here.    

Note to self:  I wonder if Tom could get us in touch with T. Boone Pickens.


One other thing diary.  I'm keeping tabs on the other spouses in the so-called campaign and OMG can you BUHlieve what Mrs. Haley Barbour said!

(CNN)- The wife of Mississippi Gov. Haley Barbour says she is "horrified" that her husband is seriously considering a bid for the presidency.

In an interview with CNN affiliate WLOX in Biloxi, Marsha Barbour admitted the "overwhelming" task of a presidential run is something she may not quite be ready for.

"It's been a lot to be first lady of the state of Mississippi and this would be 50 times bigger," she said. "It's a huge sacrifice for a family to make."

The governor is still testing the waters of a potential bid for the 2012 Republican nomination and has made no formal announcement regarding his intentions.

But Marsha Barbour revealed she is wary of a 10-year commitment she believes would accompany a presidential run - and, presumably, two terms in office - during "the last part of our productive lives."

Despite her hesitation, Barbour said that the final decision is up to her husband.
"That's a commitment that I am praying about," she said.

"And if God and Haley decide to do it, I'm sure God will give me strength to be a good partner."
Marsha, Marsha, Marsha.  
There are just a few important things a political wife needs to open her mouth for.   Pie-holing with CNN  about God's decisions isn't one of them.  
Also, the idea that it takes a lot to be the First Lady of Mississippi?  It obviously takes a lot of EATING, but beyond that you really can't complain, girlfriend.   
Trust me, all Marsha "big ol' girl" Barbour really needs to get through a 2012 campaign is a tummy tuck and six weeks on Vicodin.  If Newtie weren't "running," I'd try to call her.    But sometimes, Diary, I'm too nice a person, and it gets me in trouble.