So I'm thinking my own TLC cooking show: creating sweet calorie-rich foods...wait for it... in the homes of big Republican donors!
Imagine!
A Reagan Cake for Rupert Murdoch.
Bar-B-Que Meatballs for Richard Mellon Scaife (if anyone has his cellphone number please please please text me!)
Bread Pudding a' la Newt for the Kochs.
Betcha I can get way better ratings on TLC than Miz Holly Moose Hunter. And I'll also show Mrs. 'Let's Get Moving' (I mean, she needs to 'move' her behind to some Brazilian Butt Lift surgery stat) that real First Ladies don't eat 'healthy', because DUH they don't eat. And hello prime time, I'm two years younger than both of them, with no embarrassing stretch marks to cover, so I can do a nice two-piece for the Donor Bundling Luau Season Finale!!!
Callista's Kitchen Rule Number One: Cook to impress people who can write you checks, but never put anything in your mouth that makes you fat.
