Friday, May 27, 2011

I don't see what the big whoop is.

Working women unite!  Making arrangements for silver mining leases WAS MY ACTUAL JOB at the Congress, so of course I was willing to help out Tiffany's on that, they're AMERICAN after all.

People act like digging a hole in the ground to get some minerals and ores that are already THERE is stealing or something, geesh.   I was a very good customer of Tiffany's after that!  And zero percent interest was no skin off the store's teeth.  Tiffany's was just being nice.  Trust me, if we'd actually been charged $105,000 interest on my jewelry, Newtie might never have been able to pay off the principal, and where would THAT have left Tiffany's, huh?

Wednesday, May 11, 2011

Wait. What?

It's been a long, hard day.  It's alright.  I texted Miguel and he said that tomorrow he and I would just scoot our fannies down to the production office and fire up that shredder.

Newtie has that determined look he used to get when he wanted me to break out the rimming sugar.  "I want it and I'll have it" only this time it wasn't my tongue on his butthole it was the Presidency.  Don't say 'same diff' -- I don't feel like laughing right now.

I swear, Diary, it was The Donald who made him do it.  He kept going on and on about how if he didn't announce for real we'd be accused of "Trumping" and that is just something he couldn't face, not after getting kicked out of the House.   Honestly, you'd think they'd thrown his clothes on the lawn!  And speaking of clothes on the lawn, don't get me started about Wife Number 1.  The C word I think about her isn't "Catholic" --not even close.

More later. I have to get some Lexapro and some sleep, in that order!

Monday, May 2, 2011

It's all about listening to your inner voice.

But mostly, your inner voice should be talking about your hair.  I'm not even going to tell you how hard it was for us to lay low, Diary, while THE DONALD BALLOON floated over head.  Newtie said we should just be quiet and work the phones for more money, because no one was going to give Donald Trump a campaign contribution, (Duh!) and we really need the cash if we're going to fly first class through April of next year, when the winner-take-all contests start.

I knew, Diary, that The Donald would never make it as a candidate, because of his hair.

I just want to show Newtie's hair, because.  Compare THIS to the image of The Donald's combover that, I'm sure Diary, you and the rest of America have burned in your brain

Love his hair!!!!!!
So I have to tell you, Diary, that I've had some disagreeabilities with the consultant Newtie and I hired for the exploratory phase of the campaign.  

I told this consultant about my diary efforts.  He took a long sip of coffee and then looked at me and said, "That sounds like an excellent project for you, Callie.  Let me just stipulate that nowhere on your little blog is my name to appear, ever.  Otherwise I say go for it!"   I'm actually thinking of changing my perfume for the sake of our consultant, because every time we meet with him and I start gesturing my ideas he closes his eyes and pinches the top of his nose like it's either allergies or sinus.  I really don't dislike the guy and hate the idea that my signature scent is affecting his breathing.  

And while I can't post his name, he didn't say I couldn't post a picture of his "salt-and-pepper with a lily pad in front" hair.  Enough said.

You might think I'm being shallow and mean, Diary, but honestly this guy sometimes does not take me seriously.  I had a very good idea in our last meeting with him about the early primaries and caucuses.   I said we should pretty much skip Iowa and New Hampshire and spend most of our efforts in South Carolina, and then very business-like, I outlined three reasons that I had written down in advance in preparation to be ready:

A,  the white Republican male voter (Newt's favorite and vice-versa!), and also the weather there, are very reliable,

B, I can network with other political videographers at a much wider variety of privately-owned clubs, and

C, fundraising plus golf equals money, hello!

This consultant, who I will make up a blog name for later, looked at Newt for a really long time after I presented my plan.   Then NEWT thanked me!  As if I need to hear the words "thank you" from him!  Newtie's thank yous come in a robin's egg blue box, thank YOU very much, "Chad".

I guess I'm stuck with having to go along and get along.  Newtie says "we're lucky to have this guy.  He left an unpaid internship at The Heritage Foundation to be here, and he's only working for a percentage of the take, which is really pretty sweet, given what happened to Hillary."  Well, YEAH!   I guess that's putting a happy face on it, that we aren't in a position like the current State secretary to loan ourselves millions of dollars, huh.  I wonder if that's a business loss write-off.  When this campaign is over, I'm sending Mrs. C. the name of my stylist, because I  really do care what our country looks like to the rest of the world.  Loving America is my full-time job, even though these days it feels like my full-time job is tracking down Richard Mellon Scaife, LOL!    Back to the Blackberry!